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No Holds Barred - Beauty, Aging, and Yoga

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The Fountain of Youth by Lucas Cranach the Elder.
No Holds Barred — Beauty, Aging, and Yoga
By Blair Sabol


It’s clear that with beauty and aging, everyone is on their own. After skimming Mireille Guiliano’s “French Women Don’t Get Facelifts” it is apparent that many French women DO in fact nip and tuck themselves and the rest can’t afford it with their socialized medicine ... And in the end, so what?

Look at “40 something” Carla Bruni— she laser-erased her face years ago. The book taught me nothing about “the secrets of aging with style and attitude” (subtitle of the book) other than French women seem to sleep more, take their vacations seriously, walk more (more than New York women??), don’t eat snacks, don’t look at their cell phone, and iPads as much, and flirt more! Oh, and French women really practice “bien dans sa peau”— being happy in their own skin. It must be all that wine drinking; and there was one final quote from Simone de Beauvoir — “Living is aging. Nothing more." THAT said it all! So why even read this book?

Actually how can you take the French attitude seriously when there is 80-year-old Jeanne Moreau chain-smoking her life away. And Brigitte Bardot doesn’t look so “happy in her aging skin” of late — but she does love her dogs. Furthermore the book was really confusing about “dressing your age.” Few women (or even men) know how to do that at any age.

We are all too pressurized to have skinny bodies, big boobs, extended long caramelized hair and stilettoed heels. Most every woman nowadays struggles with her vitality and visual. French women no longer lead the way anymore so who does? The NYC and LA women have gone mostly distortedly plastic and even the Asian, Russian and South Americans all want to torque themselves into Beyoncé or her butt. So where does that leave us? Who knows what looking authentic or real is anymore. Does it even matter?
Carla Bruni laser-erased her face years ago.
Jeanne Moreau then and now.
Brigitte Bardot does love her dogs.
I like what controversial Camille Paglia (Professor of Humanities and Media Studies at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia) said in a Wall Street Journal interview recently; “So many women don’t realize how vulnerable they are by what they’re doing in the street,” she says referring to women who wear sexy clothes.

When she made the point in the past, Ms. Paglia — who dresses in androgynous jacket and slacks (and is 66 years old) has been told that she believes “women are at fault for their own victimization.” Nonsense. She says, “I believe that every person, male and female needs to be in a protective mode at all times of alertness to potential danger. The world is full of potential attacks, potential disasters.” Later she mentions “elite upper middle class women have become “clones” condemned to Pilates for the next 30 years.”
According to Camille Paglia, many women don’t realize how vulnerable they are by what they’re doing in the street.
But regardless of how women should love or feel or age or empower themselves — many seem to be mentioning yoga as the most legitimate way to stay in shape for whatever shape (age) you are in! However if there are no experts or “gurus” in beauty and aging — it is even worse with what has happened in the world of yoga.

Maybe it started years ago with the spiritual Master Rajneesh who was run out of Oregon (with his cult) for sexual misconduct and high financial fraud. Then three years ago it was the popular John Friend of the Anusara Yoga style brought up on similar charges of sex and business unlawfulness. And now we have the infamous Hot Yoga (hottie??) Originator Bikram Choudhury falling on his own “sextrapreneur” petard with charges from his students of rape, racism, misogyny, threats of violence and homophobia. He seems to have won the ultimate bad behavior lottery!
"Spiritual Master" Rajneesh and the once-popular John Friend.
Now some of those female students were reported to have followed him into his motel room while they were attending one of his many $15,000 retreats. A lot of the allegations centered around being “in a room with him and massaging him” and then, and then, and then ... oops, it all “went horribly wrong."

Now here’s a little personal history: In 1973 Vogue sent me to a Beverly Hills bank basement at 9 AM to do a story on Bikram Choudhury and his “Yoga College of India." (what college? what India? — but who cared?)

Master "Educator" Bikram Choudhury.
Raquel Welch did a successful DVD of his routine and he sued her (she won).
At that time it wasn’t called ‘hot yoga’ and the room had a few heaters (years later he yanked the temp up from 90 to 109). We each brought our own towels and Bikram always arrived in his infamous skimpy Speedo and Rolex watch and sat in the front on a pillow (years later it became a double decker platform) eating bags of Fritos and drinking bottles of Fanta.

He barked at us through 90 minutes of 26 basic postures (what became his “patented” routine). We all sweated, we groaned, we fell on the floor and we laughed ... mostly AT HIM. How could you not? He resembled a shorter more toxic version of Paul Anka and he had a major “insult comic” shtick going on. At that time he was “the only game in town” so we came back — not only the next day but also that afternoon.

We all did 9 AM and 5 PM classes. He insisted! My classmates were no slouches. Next to me was Martin Sheen, Juliet Prowse, Raquel Welch (who later did a successful DVD of his routine and he sued her ... she won), Shirley MacLaine, Marge Champion, Richard Simmons, Quincy Jones (and all of his ex wives) and on and on! Shirley even took “The Bik” on her club tours to teach all of her chorus girls and boys.

Soon Bikram was living in multiple Beverly Hills mansions and cruising around in many Rolls Royces. About that time I bowed out of the overheated jammed sweat-soaked scene and moved on. (In those days no one took Bikram seriously enough to study past a year). But I was aware of his fame and fortune and his Don Rickles approach to yoga — and frankly I was amazed at his success since he was so obviously ridiculous.

One thing was for sure — Bikram never (that I remember) set himself up as a “spiritual master” or a “guru." He was just a trash talking jokester — nothing more or less. To me he was the great American Hustler and if you couldn’t see that from your first bow pose with him — then you are drowning in your own “Om’s."

In many ways I was aware that my Vogue piece and all the rest of his publicity set him up as “The Yogi to the Stars” (who wasn’t). I guess years later with Madonna and Jennifer Aniston and George Clooney attending — up went the Sleaze factor!! So now his day in Karma court is here!!
But it’s not just Bikram — The whole Yoga world has been hit of late. Bikram and Friend are the first but won’t be the last. I just read an article by popular yoga instructor Cameron Shayne (sounds like a cartoon character) entitled “Can I have sex with my Yoga Instructor?”

He admitted to having sex numerous times with a few of his female students. He vaguely fudged over the points of ethics, personal boundaries, vulnerability, student/teacher trust and most of all responsibility.

Frankly — I couldn’t figure out what he was talking about. Except at the end he questions, “why is sex such a big deal” (and that “there are no real victims”). He poses the question — “why do teachers misbehave?” And he answers by saying “Because they can.” I suppose that was great for him and a big “Namaste” to the rest of us!!

“There are no real victims." So says Cameron Shayne.
Jenn Chiarelli on the other hand laments the current state of Yoga.
Believe me, I get that it takes two to tango in any classroom filled with half naked people. Especially sweaty male teachers stripped to their waists, body parts pierced and an entire Chinese menu tattooed from their ass crack to their adams apple. Not to mention all the rock and roll music blaring and inappropriate teacher/pupil “body adjustments” that becomes a version of “going to third base." What has happened to real “safe” Yoga/Zen environments?

The future of Yoga now is finding the “grass roots” real teachers left behind who are holding the line. Not the “rock stars” and one shot "workshop wonders.”

So after 20 years of ricocheting from one dirty (in more ways than one) Yoga studio to another I found Jenn Chiarelli at my local Scottsdale Life Power outlet. Her background was a plus — since she was a professional dancer at the Cleveland /San Jose Ballet Company who seriously injured her back and fell into yoga as a healing technique. But then she did her 8 years of serious study and totally understands bodies of all shapes and ailments.

Her reaction to all of those Yoga scandals is heartbreak; “First of all ‘teacher trainings’ are not meant to be pornographic. So many big classes have become hook-ups in the mode of Studio 54. Our culture has sexualized and materialized everything and now Yoga is the worst.” She went on to admit that there are “obviously a lot of vulnerable women (and men) who come looking for that connection to their damaged bodies and minds — the Yoga world needs to get a grip.”

Jenn teaches in a moderately heated studio (Important fact: Overheated classes are now being blamed for dangerous dehydration and are being proved counter indicated for so-called “detox” ... no wonder all Bikramis run to Starbucks post class for triple shotted lattés). But her emphasis is on breathing and slowness and quiet. Her adjustments are anatomically knowledgeable. She explained “most male teachers can’t get past their egos — touching a female body is loaded for them and they intrinsically lose it.”

And although Jenn has her own “Yoga Teacher Training” held in Costa Rica July 7-29th, her technique is not on mastering the poses, but on the spaces between getting in and getting out of them. Not to mention “synching up” how you are ON the mat with how you are OFF the mat. “I’ve gone back to the real heart and soul of Yoga teaching since Yoga in the US crashed and burned. I think Yoga today might need a rehab.”
Jenn is just a terrific ethical “teacher.”
To keep herself centered and authentic Jenn visits her own teacher at Berkley three times a year. “It’s a shame that most Yoga practices have become so aggressive — it was never meant to be a “beat up workout or marathon run.’” I realized that Jenn has never been my “guru” or “spiritual master” but just a terrific ethical “teacher” and dare I say a simple “facilitator.

“It’s a shame that most Yoga practices have become so aggressive ..." says Jenn.
“Most teachers,” she added, “and even business leaders, don’t understand that ultimately you are there to be of service in a classroom — you are merely there to guide and help — not to preach and dominate.”

But everything in the world of Yoga has hit the wall — even the successful Lululemon clothing line with their scandalous issue and recall of “see through” Yoga pants. The designs were removed from the line, their CEO was fired, and the stock took a giant tumble.

Obviously it’s not only the Yoga world that the culture inflates and destroys. It happens everywhere in politics and business and entertainment as well. We pedestal people only to create monsters who then end up abusing their power — and down everyone goes. Nowadays everyone seems to be “desperately seeking” a person, place or thing to ...“fill in their blanks.” One of the biggest psychoses of our era is “neediness."

As for Bikram — it's an appropriate ending to a man who eventually brutally sued most of his former biz partners for the use of his name, over-sexualized his students, and basically degraded everyone else in between. Then again if Martin Scorsese can glamorize “The Wolf of Wall Street” — maybe a movie on Bikram being Yoga’s “Dirtiest Downward Dog” is next up ...
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